Introducing the: She Wahba

Not a post for the weak hearts

She is not stupid and she won’t act like it. She won’t laugh at every stupid joke you make just to make you feel better. She won’t help, She won’t give you clues! Do your homework and work hard; just because other girls don’t require you to do that it means you are exempt.

Don’t expect her to go easy on you..trust me she won’t. Don’t ever dare to think that what applies to other girls applies on her. Don’t insult her intelligence, She gets offended..and when She is offended there is no telling what She could possibly do.

Don’t apply your Mars and Venus crap on her..it won’t work!
She is feisty and aggressive and won’t cut you any slack..w iza kan 3ageb! She is arrogant yet humble..very kind but can hold a grudge forever..She can be the best or the worst thing that has ever happened to your life.

Don’t get on her bad side..She can take you apart..She eats people like you for breakfast..Don’t try to own her cuz She is not for you..Don’t take her for granted cuz one day you will wake up and find her gone..and then don’t even try to bring her back!

She is smart enough to know that you are lying..and She is strong enough to act as if She believes you till She gets you exactly where She wants..Don’t let the good heart fool you..She turns into evil itself to protect her own..to protect herself.

She can love you like you are love and then hate you like you are the reason for the horrors in the world..She is intellectual, sophisticated, trivial and superficial!

She is the good and bad, The shameful and the magnificent!
Don’t ever judge her cuz you will always be wrong!

If you think you know her..trust me you don’t..cuz She hasn’t even begun..it’s just the outer crust!

She can scare you..intimidate you and make you feel protected and loved..She is crazy..She is sane and She will turn your world upside down…

She is not a child and She won’t act like it just to make you fall in love with the so called innocence! You know what..She won’t ever try to make you fall in love..She won’t tell you that you are her first or one and only..She won’t even try to lie..no matter who you are..you ain’t worth it!

If you wanna hear what you wanna hear..you have all the other girls to tell it..what would you need me for?!

Don’t ever forget that she read Anna Karenina when she was 13 and Crime and Punishment when she was 19..Don’t ever try to impress her with what you know cuz she probably read it somewhere..She would only add to you!

Actually Don’t try to impress her at all..you will just end up embarrassing yourself!

She is so average yet unique..She is who you think she is only So much more..She is no sauce on the top of whatever..She is no appetizer..She is the Main dish!

She is the best Fillet mignon you will ever have in your life, the best damn cordon bleu you will ever have..the finest taba2 foul b el zet el 7ar w a7la taba2 koshary b el da2a w el shata.. will set your life on fire and yet you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself from having more of the sweet torture She can provide.

It’s okay if you stay away..Its only comprehendible for staying close is not a mission for the weak..hearts!

I want to change the world..instead I sleep

A lot of things I want to do..and even more I want to say..revolutions I want to take part in..rallies, demonstrations..history I want to witness..experiences I want to go through..things I would love to experiment..I have the world to explore…

I want to carry the world with my own bare hands and change its direction..point it where good is the destination..where justice resides..towards Utopia…

I have dreams and plans and sketches of projects and outlines of several futures enough for numerous lives.. I want to help everyone in need..I want to grant them their wishes..I want to educate every illiterate and inspire every young one..I want to restore faith to those who lost it…

I want to live, laugh..die and be resurrected..go to hell and back..I want to make everyone I love as happy as happiness can get...I want to make mistakes..regret it..correct them and do them again..I want to grow old and tell the young about my wild stories and laugh so hard to remember how crazy I used to be…

I want to listen to music..eat in the best and the worst of places..go to the fanciest restaurants..dine with royalty and then sleep on pavements with beggars..I want to balance the imbalanced..accept and be accepted…

I want to love..be loved..forget..forgive be forgotten and remembered and love again..as deeply as love can be..to the extremes of happiness and sadness I embark in a journey of self discovery..I want to feel lonely and warm ..fulfilled and dissatisfied..I want to go through everything there is to go through..Be the saint and the evil spirit…

I want to be suicidal and adventurous and yet value my life and be called careful..I wanted to be laughed at, laughed with and laughing at the world over a cup of coffee..I don’t want to be afraid to fall..get up and throw myself again…

I want to watch the world as it goes by…

I want to fulfill every good value and give birth to new ones..I want to make right everything that is wrong.. I want to save lives and better yet Souls..I want to create.. I want to set free.. I want to, literally, want to change the world…

And yet I wake up and barely find enough energy for me to breathe..All I can do is keep breathing..and it seems that this involuntary action that keeps us alive drains me out of my last ounce of energy and leaves me unable to do anything else..All I know is I am breathing..All I can do is keep breathing…

I want to change the world..instead All I can do is keep breathing..Instead I sleep…

Inspired by the lyrics of the song "Keep Breathing" by Ingrid Michaelson

Nadine’s painting

She was terrified to hold her brush..she would escape it, she wouldn’t even look at it. She'd get herself busy doing anything, praying she’d lose it. Yes, she draws portrays and yes, she has no problem drawing landscape but when she is finally on her own she doesn’t want to even come near her paint brush.

She sat there, looked at it and felt as if the paint brush looked back. She was anxious and scared, she was scared that when she starts painting all the feelings she is trying hard to repress would overwhelm her and her heart would break.. again.

Finally she thought she’d get it over with.. it had to happen sometime..so she grabbed the brush stood facing the empty chart as if she is standing up to some scary monster , with a challenging expression on her face and a strong will. Holding the brush firmly then she just froze and what she was scared of the most happened..she broke into tears..Started crying..couldn’t stop..as if it happened yesterday not months ago..crying..sobbing.

She didn’t know she loved him that much

She stood up again..refusing to be that weak..and started painting..started with shades of red..painting in rage..painting hatred and anger..like a caged tiger..she painted to show him how she loathes him..how disappointed she is..how she is still strong and standing tall with her head high as if he was never there

But then she falls apart again..grabs the white and the blue..grabs the colors that used to remind her of him..grabs the colors he used to wear..the color of his eyes and that of his skin..the color of the songs they used to listen to..the colors that painted their memories.

Burgundy..blue..white..brown..dark blue..red..suddenly she remembers..she remebers everything..she remembers silly stuff..small stuff..random things..significant memories..everything that there is to remember

She didn’t know she loved him that much

She cries so hard and paints with all her soul..she knew she loved him..why else would she stay for five years..but it’s just a freaking relationship she should have gotten over him by now..she should have moved on..it ended..it’s sad but it’s over..she won’t die..life isn’t even close to over…

She didn’t know she loved him that much

She didn’t know she’d miss him that much..she didn’t know he’d leave behind all that void..she didnt know it would hurt that much..it hurts..it physically hurts..crushing her chest bones..squeezing her heart..as if a part of her is being cut off..every night…

She didn’t know she loved him that much

It came as a surprise to her..all the flashbacks..everyday..all day..can’t control them..can’t stop them..too much memories..as if she is haunted..it’s almost scary..little things act as reminders..stupid things..a street they once walked by..a song..a movie or even an expression

She finds herself watching the movies she used to hate but he loved..listening to the songs that he used to cause her a headache with..things that she had to do when she was with him now she does with outmost pleasure..maybe even the only things that make her happy now that everything feels so ordinary and uninteresting

She didn’t know she loved him that much

She finds herself laughing about something and reaching for the phone to tell him about it..or a piece of gossip or someone she wants to mock and she looks beside her and he isn’t there..she remembers..she remembers he’s gone.

She didn’t know she loved him that much

She didn’t know when she lost him..she lost her best friend..her man..her lover..her father..her brother..her mentor she thought she thought what’s one less boyfriend..the worst part is that she feels she lost her baby..he wasn’t perfect but he was her baby..her own..part of her..her stubborn big baby..with his flaws and imperfections..he made her happy and proud.

See..she didn’t know she loved him that much..she didn’t know he meant the world to her

She can never forgive..it’s over and she knows it but now she also knows that she loved him more than she thought she did..it’s confusing and its wrecking her.
She looks at the painting and ponders on the revelation she just made..her heart breaks and she feels the physical heartache..breathing becomes so hard and its almost as if she is dying..she is not crying..she looks at the painting

The painting becomes him..she painted every little thing that reminds her of him..every small detail..she started with hatred and ended with deep strong love..the kind that she never knew she’d encounter in her life.

Where to go from here..most probably nowhere..she stopped painting..the brush fell from her hand and she sat still..the music in her head and the smell fills the air around her..the taste in her mouth as if she is reliving a memory and the pain gets stronger but she can’t move a muscle..she is just gonna stay there for a while..she will be sitting here for a while…

She closes her eyes and mumbles to herself ..I didn’t know..I didn’t know I loved him that much

Your Pretty Woman..!

I have been advised by a friend to start getting personal on my blog and I decided to take the advice. So if this post bores you with personal details you don't give a **** about then you can blame my friend.

The other day I was pondering on the criteria upon which this friend of mine chooses his dates because sometimes I never really understand his choices.. At All although I claim to know him so well. That thought caught up in my head I turned on the T.V. and "pretty woman" was on. I love this movie but I never quite understood why is it that Edward loved Viviane. I thought it's too dreamy and maybe that’s why I loved it.

But something caught my attention this time; something "Julia" said commenting about his lawyer's wife she said she is ice cold. And you can tell that all the women surrounding Edward were the same. Refined, great looking, very neat and clean cut but they look lifeless. On the other hand you can see Viviane with big red hair and her huge smile, loud voice, spontaneity and just full of life.

"Are these you friends?" said Viviane, "I spend time with them, yes." Said Edward

"No wonder"
"No wonder what?"
"No wonder you came looking for me"


I agree she may not have been the right woman for him in any way. He has not been socialized to end up with someone like her, his community would never accept her and she would never fit in..its true. But maybe there's something wrong with his community not with her. Maybe she shouldn't fit in to begin with. Maybe or I am almost certain that what he loved is her difference.

Some people suck the life out of you with their cold, void stare. They can't give what they don't even have. And others just give life to everything around them sometimes with just their off beat attitude. And Edward craved life just like I am sure my friend is. He dates exceptionally clean cut girls who _at least to me_ look like plastic dolls, I constantly doubt they have blood running through their veins. They are very nice girls who are just lifeless to me.

It seems like its either you go for the right woman or for your pretty woman who is probably not right for you. What Edward did is go for his pretty woman what my friend has been doing is try constantly to make the right woman his pretty woman which he constantly brdo fails miserably in. Well good luck to you on that but personally I don’t see how you can make that happen although I know you can make a lot of things happen.

"I am going to treat you so nice baby that you will never want to let me go."
"Viviane, I will let you go!"

Well..did he?!
Find your own pretty woman.

Re3'ef el 3esh ashal wla 7amam el seba7a?!

To those of you who do not already know, there is an add that has been becoming very popular the past few days. The add is for "swimming pools", describing how easy it is to install a swimming pool in your Villa as if it’s the only thing that’s missing in the average Egyptian's life !!

I personally believe that this add would provoke anyone listening to it regardless of the social standard. It reflects how the media can sometimes seem as far as can be from the people. I mean we are facing a bread crisis "azmat re3'ef el 3esh" a real life crisis that without an exaggeration can be threatening to the security and stability of our country so excuse me if the talk about swimming pools bothers me.

The time has come that the average Egyptian citizen is unable to get a decent piece of bread. That’s a crisis that relates to the flour and wheat crisis because we don't grow our own food and that’s the result.

Its not that the world prices have grown very high or the global market fluctuations or whatever you might have heard or read in the newspapers; we don't grow our own food that’s it. That’s the real cause of the crisis. Lack of central planning and a national project to start growing our own food and that’s the result hungry people and with no exaggeration I can say millions of hungry Egyptians.

By now I guess you know why such an advertisement would aggravate me. We are not talking about poverty, poverty is a sad fact that we must live with. I am talking about hunger that would tear apart our society, a problem that we cannot just fix its superficial symptoms by blaming the bakeries. The real solution is embarking on a national project to start growing wheat to produce what we need.

It seems like an idealistic dream of mine, dreaming of the day we will be growing our own bread.

Honestly if you ask me re3'ef el 3esh ashal wla 7amam el sba7a?! I'll answer without hesitation that the swimming pool would be installed and your kids would be taking a swim while you would still be standing in the infamous "taboor el 3esh" so definitely the right answer is "7amam el seba7a"!!

There is the sun and moon..Watch them when dawn is due..Sharing one space..Moonlighting strangers..Who just met on the way

Don’t you change

Some walk by night
Some fly by day
Nothing could change you
Set and sure of the way

Charming and bright
Laughing and gay
I’m just a stranger
Love the blues and braves

There is the sun and moon
They sing their own sweet tune
Watch them when dawn is due
Sharing one space

Some walk by night
Some fly by day
Something is sweeter
When we met along the way


So come walk by night
Come fly by day
Something is sweeter
‘Cause we met along the way

We’ll walk by night
We’ll fly by day
Moonlighting strangers
Who just met on the way




So don't you change
Although we are so different..world's apart..I'd never want you to change

You are just how the song describe you..always sure of your way

And even if we are as different as the sun and moon..when the dawn is due we can always share one space..

Something was different..definetly sweeter when we met along the way
Who would expect..two worlds like ours would collide and then we met..unexpected..unplanned along the way

I fly by day
You walk by night
Never meant to meet
Yet happened anyway
And something was sweeter when we met along the way

But as any opposites meet..attraction that’s true but it was followed by tension..the kind that would tear you apart..the differences are too great

The sun and moon share one space for only moments..it can never last longer

Is harmony overrated?!!!

It doesn’t matter..i couldn’t walk by night and it was impossible for anyone else to fly with me by day

Yeah..I have my regrets..still I am glad that in one strange day..two moonlighting strangers happened to meet along the way

Democracy, Secularism and Censorship.. Go get your own definition!

It seems like nowadays we are being dictated some concepts in our lives. Some of the key concepts that define our philosophical beliefs, political thought and consequently our choices in life. Vital concepts like democracy, secularism and censorship.

Dictated by who doesn’t really matter. Be it our education, parents, peers, society, religious leaders, media or all the above. The thing is we don't process anymore, we don't experience anymore. We take their word for it. The word of the people who experienced, who read, who learned and who now know. They may as well live for us our lives ba'a wla eh?!

What I am trying to say is don't get for granted what everyone tell you, what ever happened to good old questioning and skepticism?! For instance important concepts like the aforementioned ones cannot go by you unnoticed because believe me sooner or later the idea you form about these notions would affect your own decisions in life, the important ones.

Democracy is being preached to us nowadays through the media, the educated elite and the western countries. But for some reason it is being put in the frame of institutions. Its definition is being strictly adhering to the political part not only that but also to the institutional part of democracy.
That’s why the common guy would easily loose interest in the concept of democracy because he would never know how to relate to it.

Democracy to me is not only fair elections or free press; Democracy to me is the increase of choices in life.
As simple and clear as that, when you have the choice to be who you want to be and the choice to get to where you want to be and take the way you want then you have yourself a democratic community. The more choices the more democratic and vice versa.




Since I have been a little girl before I could ever begin to fathom what secularism is I knew it was a bad thing. A corrupt notion that would lead to the disintegration of the Muslim world.
A sneaky concept the western countries are importing to the Muslim world. That was my first impression of this word.

Later on I dug deeper into the underlying meaning of that word. Secularism is the separation of religion from politics for a lot of reasons among them_ and in my opinion the most important_ to make sure that religion is not used as a tool in the hand of the state. In order to ensure the sacred nature of religion and religious leaders and that political leaders wouldn't use religion to manipulate the masses.
That's why to me I believe it’s a favorable concept which I would advocate. When I processed it I found a whole different definition from what I have been spoon fed.



Almost like Secularism, Censorship has always been and still is advocated in our society. The control and monitoring of the state in all walks of life even over ideas has been seen_ even by me_ as something that would keep the morality of the society and the religious orientation.

A revisit to that concept changed my perception. At least for now censorship to me should be as limited as it can be and in exceptional cases only. I personally believe that Censorship suffocates creativity and regulates knowledge which should flow freely for the well fare of society. The exposure of the people to all kinds of knowledge leads to their maturity.

My own opinion now might be very different from the one I have been meant to believe in through my socialization process. And a lot of people may differ with me and even my own views may change over the years but at least I make my own!

Anyway these are just my views..right or wrong..my own line of thought..my own definitions.. Go get your own!!

Sony Ericsson VS. Nokia! Men..They want it ALL..!

Those of you who know something about Sony Ericsson mobile phones would know that this company categorizes its phones.
The music phones_ W series_ for those who love music. The K series for those who are into taking pictures. The P series for business men or business men wannabes. So each phone is designed to meet your interests which is something I really admired.

The problem is Men do not want something to meet their interests or desires, they just want everything! I am talking based on an experience, they would come around ask about the features of the mobile and they are always disappointed about the missing feature even though they know quiet well that they don't need it, want it nor know how to use it!

But they know this..they just want it !

They want the best camera, the best sound, the most elegant and whatever else a mobile has to offer. They are not willing to make any compromises. They were so confused at the thought that mobiles are categorized. You want the best camera then your mobile wouldn’t be the most elegant. You want the best sound then your mobile wouldn’t have the best camera. They couldn’t understand why?! Why can't they just have everything?!
But the real question is Why would you want everything?! Because you sure as hell don't Need everything. And when they are asked this question they are even more perplexed!!

Why want everything?!!! Because you can..because you should!




Aside from that, they are constantly comparing. Its not as easy as you see a mobile you examine its features ,you like..you buy..NOOO! God forbid! You have to compare it to all the other models of the same company and then compare what all the other companies have to offer and after all that you won't buy what you want.
You are a Man, you don't just settle for what you want..You absolutely have to get the Best, the Most and the Greatest mobile. So that when you sit with your mucho friends and compare mobiles..yours win. And again it doesn’t matter whether it's what you want or not.
That's why they prefer Nokia. Nokia also categorizes its phones but still a phone that is from the music edition you would find that it has other features out of the understanding of the nature of men.

I know that how men buy their mobile phones may seem kind of trivial to you, that’s true. But the reason that it's not to me is that it also applies strongly on how they choose women nowadays. Read the article again and you'll find the resemblance yourself..enjoy!

The "C" word w "el do2won el taweela"

What does communists and men with "do2won taweela" have in common?!

At first you'd think this question is some kind of a joke because they'll never have anything in common..what would it possibly be?! Well its not a joke..the answer is a deeply distorted image over the years.

" Dah sheyo3y"!!! These words would make any parents worried, your friends skeptic and have the power to alienate almost anyone.
This is not a recent phenomenon. Since the 60s in the western world and the 80s in Egypt if the word spread that you are a communist or someone in your family is or even someone who passed you in the street..prepare yourself for the consequences.

In the 60s in the United States of America _the so called leader of the free world_ you would loose your job, you have a god chance of losing your wife, your church, the community you live in would desert you and most probably you would be thrown in jail. Being a communist which is simply adopting a political belief became a crime back then..and this is no exaggeration.

I must admit that now it's not that extreme but the distorted image still lives. People can't get over the fact that one day being a communist was a crime.
The western media over the years portrayed communists as big haired people who smell and are uncivilized. And the image got stuck creating a stereotype.
In the Muslim world communists are seen as non-believers who would corrupt the minds of young men by their ideas and so called ideology.

On the other hands we would find that fighting Islamic fundamentalism in the Arab region through the media has created another stereotype. Women in "nekab" and men with "do2won tawela" are porteyed as fanatics or even as terrorists in the Arab media.

Series that we all watched and loved like "el 3a2ela" and movies like "el erhaby" enhanced that image to an extent. Not to forget the terrorist attacks that were carried out by people who may look like your neighbor or one of your brother's friends made us believe that this is how a terrorist would look like. Adding to all of that the western media who made sure we have this image imprinted in our heads. And the result is whenever we pass by someone with "da2n taweela" in the street or a girl in "nekab" its either we are skeptic, scared or we may crack a joke!

This is not about my own political beliefs or religious views. This is to take note of the fact that two opposite thoughts or beliefs are being persecuted worldwide and my rejection to that. We allow the media to create stereotypes and we believe them without processing, automatically acting upon them and making judgments.

No one deserves being judged whether it's because of what he wears or what he believes in..This is my own humble opinion anyway.

There is discrimination on basis of gender/race/sexual orientation and now ideas and of course the way you are
dressed! We are seeking the abolition of discrimination on any basis, instead we are adding to them! I personally believe we should think twice before using the word "communism" as a swear word or crack a joke about someone's dress code.

الفقر + الجوع = توحش

في رمضان اللي فات كنت في يوم معزومة عند واحدة صحبتي. لاقيت أختها بتتطبخ آكل غير اللي إحنا هناكله عشان هتنزل توزعه علي الناس اللي في الشارع قبل المغرب تفطر بيه
عجبتني الفكرة و قعدت ساعدتها و قبل الإفطار اخذنا الحاجة و نزلنا
أنا كنت مبسوطة أوى و حاسة أن أنا بعمل حاجة كويسة و حسيت أن أنا راضية عن نفسي في اللحظة ديه
واحنا ماشيين بالعربية شوفنا واحدة قاعدة في الشارع و معاها طفلين. إحنا صعب علينا الأطفال الصغيرة فقلنا نديها علبة من اللي معانا. فجأة_ و ماتفهمش دول طلعوا منيين_ اتلم علينا حوالي عشر بني آدميين كبار و شباب و عيال صغيرة، رجالة و ستات. بقوا يخبطوا علي العربية و يمدوا أيديهم جوة العربية علشان يلحقوا يخدوا أي كان اللي احنا بنوزعوا. و الآكل اللي كنا عمالين نغرفوا بعناية اعدوا يتخنقوا عليه و يضربوا بعض لغاية ما بهدلوا العلب بالأكل اللي جواها. احنا أتخضينا لاننا مكناش متوقعين كدة ابدا. و شوفنا عربيات تانية عملت نفس اللي احنا عملناه و حصلهم نفس اللي حصلنا

فجأة أحساسي باني راضية عن نفسي و السعادة اللي كنت فيها اللي كانت المفروض ناتجة عن مساعدة الآخرين اختفت.و زي ما اكون حسيت بالّذنب لأني كنت فاكرة اني كدة بساعدهم.ده غير ان نظرة واحدة ست منهم ليا و هي بتمدلي ايديها مش قادرة انساها لغاية دلوقتي.ماكنتش نظرة امتنان بالعكس ديه كانت بتبصلي زي ما اكون انا السبب في الغلب اللي هي فيه.عامة انا برده مش هاعرف أوصفها
انا مابقتش عارفة المفروض يصعبوا عليا ولا لأ.هم المسئولين عن اللي هم فيه ولا أحنا اللي واخدين أكتر من حقنا ولا هو كل واحد بياخد نصيبه في الدنيا وخلاص

اللي وصلتلوا بعد تفكير ان الناس ديه مش اللي محتاجاه ان حد يديهم لقمة ولا اتنيين جنيه في ايديهم.و مش علشان افتكرناهم في يوم يبقي ده يدينا الحق ان احنا نبقي راضيين عن نفسنا بقيت السنة
الناس ديه محتاجة اللي اكتر من كدة بكتير.محتاجة اللي يدافع عن حقوقهم و يمدلهم ايد المساعدة مش بس بقرشيين.الناس ديه محتاجة حد يعلمهم و يفهمهم ان حياتهم ممكن تبقي احسن من كدة و ان ليهم حقوق مش واخدينها.الناس ديه من حقهم علينا ان احنا نبقي عقلهم اللي بيفكر و لسانهم اللي بيطالب بحقوقهم الضايعة

أنا مش بروج لأفكار أشتراكية ولا حاجة.صحيح الاشتراكية بتنادي بتوزيع عادل للثروة بس برده الليبرالية بتنادي بإتاحة فرص عادلة أمام الجميع لبناء حياة كريمة. و أحنا بقي ولا عندنا ده ولا ده
انا ما بقولش ان الدافع علشان نساعد الجهلة والفقراء من عامة الشعب لازم يبق نابع من ولائنا لأفكارنا الأيديولوجية ولا حتي نابع من طيبة قلوبنا،ده الدافع الحقيقي لازم بقي يكون نابع من أقتناعنا ان الحقد الطبقي و الكره تجاه الطبقة الاعلي_اللي في رأي مبرر_لو فضل يغلي جوة الناس ديه،في يوم كدة هيطلعوا علينا يكلونا بأيديهم و أسنانهم.بالظبط زي ما حسيت أنه هيحصلنا أنا وأصحابي يومها.و بصراحة ماتقدرش تلومهم.أنا صحيح ما جربتش قبل كدة بس بيتهايئلي أن الواحد لما يقرصوا الجوع و يبقي من فقروا مش لاقي يجيب عيش حاف لازم يتوحش و يهبش في اللي مش حاسس بيه اللي بيرمي الأكل من كتره

حاولت تنتحر قبل كدة؟

شاب جامعي في بداية حياته وجدوه منتحر في شقة واحد صاحبه

بنت شابة انتحرت،بيقولوا علشان أهلها فقراء و مش عارفة تساعدهم

شاب تاني رمي نفسه في النيل. وحوادث زي ديه بنقراها في الجرايد كل فترة.بنتكلم فيها شوية و بعدين بننساها

الانتحار حاجة من الحاجات اللي عيب ومايصحش نتكلم فيها في بلدنا.دايما يقولوا انتحار آيه؟!الحاجات ديه بتحصل في بلاد برة مش عندنا هنا.وبقت كل فكرتنا عن الانتحار سعاد حسني أو ماجدة و هي بتبص للنيل و بتفكير ترمي نفسها و فجأة يظهر البطل_غالبا عماد حمدي أو شكري سرحان_و ينقذها.لكن آيه أسباب الانتحار ولا الأفكار ديه سببها آيه؟وهو اللي تجيلوا الأفكار ديه لازم يبقي مجنون ولا آيه؟
مع أن الأسئلة ديه ممكن تكون بتراود كتير مننا لكن محدش يعرف اجابتها و محدش بيسأل
ديه مقابلات حقيقية مع ناس حاولت الانتحار قبل كدة هحاول من خلالها اعرف من تجربتهم إجابة عن أسئلتي

المقابلة الأولى
عندك كام سنة؟
20 سنة

بتتدرسي ولا بتشتغلي؟
انا طالبة في الجامعة.

طيب نتدخل في موضوعنا،آمتي ابتديتي تفكري في الانتحار؟
هو فكرة الموت نفسها فضلت مسيطرة عليا فترة ولسة بفكر فيها لغاية دلوقتي.بس فكرة الانتحار نفسها لما كان عندي 17 سنة تقريبا

ليه بدأتي تفكري في الانتحار في الوقت ده بالذات؟
بوصي هو مفيش حاجة معينة حصلت فبعدها علطول فكرت في الموضوع ده.هي زي ما تقولي كدة تراكمات

تراكمات أيه؟
تراكمات إحباط من المدرسة و البيت كدة يعني

يعني خناقات مع مامتك و ضغط الامتحانات؟
لأ الحكاية مش كدة بالظبط.هي الفكرة بتجيلك مرة وانتي متضايقة و بعدين تطنيشيها بس بتفضل موجودة في دماغك ومع كل مشكلة أو خناقة أو أزمة أو حتى لو حد قلك كلمة تضايقك تفضل الفكرة تتضح لغاية لما يجي الوقت اللي ما بتبقيش بتفكري غير فيها و هي الحل الوحيد اللي قدامك لكل مشاكلك.زي ما يكون حد مستخبي و مستني الوقت اللي يطلع يهجم عليكي فيه.ولما بتهجم عليكي الفكرة ديه ما تشوفيش غيرها

طيب لما وصلتي لنقطة ان الفكرة ديه سيطرت عليكي،عملتي ايه؟
أنا كان بقالي كام يوم مكتئبة فطلبت من مامتي تديني دواء للاكتئاب
طبعا مرضيتش في الأول خالص بس أنا اعدت اعيطلها و اقولها أننا أعصابي تعبانة من الامتحانات.فديتني الشريط و قاليتلي خدي حبايا واحدة.اخدت واحدة اعدت شويا مالقيتش نفسي استريحت.اصل أنا كنت فاكرة إن أنا أول لما اخد دواء الاكتئاب كل الزعل هيروح. لقيت نفسي لسة متضايقة.رحت واخدة واحدة تانية،زي ما يكون مسكن صداع.وفضلت كدة لغاية لما الشريط خلص.هو الشريط مكنش كامل بس بعد ما خلص أنا فجأة خفت.خصوصا إن أنا كنت بدأت أدوخ و ضربات قلبي تبقي سريعة.أعدت أعيط شويا مش عارفة اعمل آيه.من 10 دقائق بس كنت فعلا عايزة اروح أي مكان غير اللي أنا فيه دلوقتي حتي لو ده معناه أنى أموت،طيب ليه فجأة خفت؟!بعد شوية عياط رحت قلت لماما

كان رد فعلها ايه؟
اتخضت طبعا.وزعئتلي شويا و كلمت الدكتور قالها أن أنا مش هيجرالي حاجة بس ممكن أدوخ شويا أو أنام كتير أو كدة

و بعد كدة اتكلمت معاكي في حاجة؟
لأ

طيب و بعدها مفكرتيش تعملي كدة تاني؟
بصراحة لأ.يعني أنا مريت بضغوط كتير بعد كدة يس محاولتش اعمل كدة تاني.

يعني ايه اللي خلاكي تقولي لمامتك او متخديش شريط تاني؟
معرفش.بيتهايئلي الخوف اللي حاسيت بيه ساعتها.ومتسئلنيش خفت من آيه بالظبط علشان بجد معرفش

ماحستييش إن اللي بتعمليه ده حرام؟
بعد كدة حسيت إن ده حرام فعلا.و إن مش المفروض اعمل كدة.بس في لحظتها مش بتفكري،بتبقي في حالة مش شايفة حاجة قدامك و مش بتفكري بوعي أو حتي بطريقة شبه منطقية

تفتكري موضوع الانتحار ده نسبته زادت؟
آه.أنا حاسة كدة أوى.صحيح إحنا عمرنا ما كان عندنا إحصائيات واضحة بس الحوادث اللي في الجرايد زادت فأكيد بقي في حالات اكتر بس مبنعرفش عنها حاجة

طب زادت ليه؟
من رأي في حالة إحباط عام في البلد.إحنا جيلنا شايف أهاليهم مقهوريين سياسيا،اجتماعيا و اقتصاديا.واللي مش مقهوريين ما يعرفوش عيالهم من طحنة الشغل.والأهل المحبطين بيخلفوا أولاد محبطين.ده غير أسباب تانية كتير


المقابلة الثانية

عندك كام سنة؟
21 سنة
بتتدرسي ولا بتشتغلي؟
بدرس و بشتغل

أمتي ابتديتي تفكري في موضوع الانتحار ده؟
وأنا في ثانية ثانوي

ليه الوقت ده بالذات؟
يعني كنت بعاني من ضغوطات كتير

زي آيه؟المذاكرة مثلا؟
آه.ديه حاجة من الحاجات.انا كنت عايزة ادخل كلية إعلام فكنت عايزة أجيب درجات عالية و كنت خايفة أوى ما جيبش الدرجات اللي تتدخلني إعلام.ده غير إن أنا كان عندي مشاكل مع أهلي

يعني خناقات مع اهلك و كدة؟
مش بالظبط يعني. كان في مشاكل كبيرة أوى ده غير أننا وقتها اتحجبت

هم اهلك ضغطوا عليكي علشان تتحجبي؟
لأ خالص. بالعكس أنا اتكلمت مع مامتي في الموضوع قبل ما اتحجب و هي ماكنتش مشجعة الفكرة و أنا اتحجبت ضد إرادتها

ليه اتحجبتي في الوقت ده بالذات،وكان عن اقتناع؟
هي ملهاش وقت معين هو أنا حاسيت إننا قريبة من ربنا و عايزة اعمل كدة و كنت مقتنعة أوى

امال آيه المشكلة؟
مامتي ماكنتش موافقة خالص.أنا كنت اتكلمت معاها في الموضوع بس هي مكنتش بتاخد كلامي جد.و أنا خرجت في يوم و رجعت محجبة وده جننها.علشان أنا عملت حاجة ضد إرادتها فكأم الموضوع ده ضايقها جدا.مامتي كانت دايما بتساندني حتي لو كنت بعمل حاجة مش عجباها و ديه كانت أول مرة تعمل معايا كدة

و ده سببلك مشكلة كبيرة؟
آه.لأنها مش بس wasn’t supportive مامتي قاطعتني.بقيت مابتكلمنيش خالص و كانت عايزاني اقلع الحجاب و أنا ماكنتش راضية طبعا

ليه كان ده موقفها؟
هي كانت شايفة ان اللي أنا بعملوا ده غلط و إن رضي الأهل مهم و كدة.و ده كان بيشكل ضغط غريب علشان انتي مش متخيلة يعني آيه اهلك يقرروا انهم غضبانين عليكي

هو انتي علاقتك بيها قبل كدة كانت كويسة؟
آه.كانت كويسة جدا. ده كانت وقت صعب أوى بالنسبة لي.المذاكرة و الأهل

و الحجاب كمان؟
لأ.الحجاب ماكنش مشكلة بالنسبة لي.بس أنا كنت مضغوطة أوى و حاسة أننا مش عارفة اعمل آيه

طب ماكنتيش بتتكلمي مع أصحابك؟
بصي أنا كان عندي أصحاب بس في حاجات معينة ممكن تتكلمي فيها بعدين لكن في ساعتها صعب.ده غير أننا مكنتش عارفة أقول لاصحابي آيه.يعني مش عارفة أقولهم ازاي إن مامتي مش موافقة علي حجابي
كنت تعبانة أوى و بأنام كل يوم معيطة.وكنا بنتخانق كتير أنا و مامتي.ده غير ان إحنا كمان في الوقت ده كان عندنا مشاكل مالية.كنت مخنوقة أوى و أنا و مامتي كنا مش بنتكلم خالص ولو احتكينا ببعض كانت بتبقي خناقة كبيرة أوى.بس أنا ماكنتش بفكر بالظبط أننا عايزة أموت نفسي

طب عملتي ايه؟
بصي أنا جيبت سكينة و حاولت انتحر

يعني عملتي ايه بالظبط؟
أنا مش فاكرة أوى بس كنت عايزة أؤذي نفسي.و ماكنتش بفكر بوضوح خالص و مفيش حاجة تهمني

يعني أنتي مش فاكرة خالص انتي ساعتها عملتي ايه بالظبط؟
لأ.انا فاكرة أننا لقيت نفسي فجأة ماسكة السكينة.والموضوع ده حصل مرتين

حد من اهلك اخد باله؟
لأ محدش اخد باله خالص.بعد كدة الموضوع عدي و أنا ابتديت اهدي

انا عايزة اعرف الموضوع عدي ازاي؟ بعد مامسكتي السكينة آيه اللي خلاكي ماتعمليش حاجة؟
تاني مرة مسكت فيها السكينة حسيت أنها بجد.و اننا خلاص هموت نفسي.و أنا ماكنتش بفكر خالص.و كنت حاسة أننا مخنوقة أوى ومش عارفة اعمل آيه و مش شايفة حل.فجأة حسيت أننا خفت.آيه اللي أنا بعمله ده،أنا ماسكة السكينة و هاموت نفسي؟
عارفة أنا حاسيت إن الكلام اللي بيقولوا في الأفلام عن الانتحار ده كله هتش.أنتي مش بتبقي ساعتها بتفكري انك تموتي نفسك و مش بتبقي مدركة.أنا معرفش آيه اللي حصل وقتها بس أنا في لحظتها خفت

الخوف اللي حاسيتي به ساعتها هو اللي خلاكي ماتعمليش كدة تاني؟
بعد كدة لما ادركت أنا بعمل آيه بدأت اعقلها.بس كان ممكن ده ميحصلش،كان ممكن ماتجيليش اللحظة اللي أدرك فيها أنا بعمل آيه.كان ممكن اكمل.يعني أنا بعد كدة اعدت أقول لنفسي آيه الهبل ده،يعني أنا اتحجبت علشان ارجع اعمل كدة.بس أنا بصراحة مقدرش أقولك إن أنا ساعتها افتكرت ربنا ولا كنت بفكر أصلا

بس أنتي بعد كدة حتي لما مريتي بضغوط مفكرتيش في الموضوع ده تاني؟
لأخالص

أنتي اتكلمتي مع حد في الموضوع ده؟
لأ.أنتي أول واحدة أتكلم معاها
ليه،علشان محدش سألك؟
محدش سألني و كمان الموضوع خاص أوى و محدش بيحب يحكي عن أوقات ضعفه.يعني أنا عامة من الشخصيات الجريئة بس ده مش سهل إن حد يتكلم فيه

محسيتيش انك عايزة تتكلمي في الموضوع ده؟
لأ

طيب ما حسيتيش انك مرتاحة اكتر لما عرفتي إن في حد فكر في الموضوع ده غيرك؟
مش مرتاحة بس حاسيت انك لازم تكتبي في الموضوع ده علشان أنا مش عايزة حد يمر بالموضوع ده

حسيتي انك غريبة علشان جاتلك الافكار ديه؟
آه،حسيت أننا غريبة

تفتكري لو حد تاني مكانك كان هيعمل كدة؟
بيتهايئلي في المجتمع اللي إحنا فيه،آه.وكان ممكن يجرالها حاجة.أنا اعرف بنات كتير رفض أهاليهم للحجاب عملهم مشاكل نفسية

دلوقتي لما بتفكري في الموضوع بستغربي انك عملتي حاجة زي كدة؟
آه.ساعات بحش إن ديه مش أنا.يعني لو أي حد يعرفني دلوقتي حكتلوا هيستغرب أوى

حاسة لو حد بيمر بظروف صعبة و قرأ المقالة ديه و عرف تجربتك وان أنتي جاتلك الأفكار ديه و عديتي من الأزمة بتاعتك،ده هيساعده؟
آه،علشان كدة أنا باحكيلك.أنا حاسة إن أنا لما أتكلم في الموضوع ده هيساعدني و هيساعد الآخرين

ياريت كل واحدة تخليها في حالها

المواقف التالية هي مواقف حقيقية أنا عشتها أو حد من أصحابي أو اتحكلنا مواقف شبيهة بها. أنا بعتذر لو حد حس بالإهانة من المواقف ديه بس هو ده هو الواقع اللي أحنا عيشينوا



الموقف الاول
بنتين واقفين في الشارع بعد يوم طويل في الجامعة بيخدوا تاكسي علشان يروحواعربية قربت منهم فيها اتنين ستات كبار محجبات و وقفت
السيدة:السلام عليكم
البنت الاولي:وعليكم السلام
السيدة:انتوا مسلمين؟
البنت الاولي:اه الحمد لله
السيدة:طيب خدي دول يا بنتي، واحد ليكي وواحد ليها و ربنا يهدي الناس جميعا
وتديها شريطين واحد شريط قرأن و واحد لعمرو خالد.من الواضح انها كانت شرايط عندها في العربية
البنت الثانية: يعني هو حضرتك مش عايزاهم؟
السيدة:لأ. ومشيت بالعربية
البنت الثانية:يعني انا عايزة افهم هو فيه ايه في شكلنا يخليها تستنتج ان احنا عمرنا ما سمعنا شريط قران و لا عندنا منها في البيت يعني؟!
البنت الاولي:يا ستي عادي كتر خيرها
البنت الثانية:لأ،اصل مين عينها تشوف مين اللي محتاج هداية و تديلوا شرايط في الشارع
البنت الاولي:ماتخديش الموضوع بحساسية كدة.هي عايزة لنا الخير مش اكتر.خلاص بقي



الموقف الثاني
بنتين قاعدين يتكلموا مع بعضهم
البنت الاولي:شوفتي البنت اللي كانوا بيتكلموا عليها امبارح و بيقولوا عليها زي القمر و وشها تحفة؟
البنت الثانية:اه شفتها
البنت الاولي:ايه حلوة بقي زي ما بيقولوا؟
البنت الثانية:عادي يعني محجبة
البنت الاولي:ايوة،يعني ايه محجبة؟حلوة ولا لأ؟
البنت الثانية: مش عارفة.يا بنتي محجبة ما هو كلهم شبه بعض. دماغك بقي


الموقف الثالث
تلات بنات واقفين في الشارع متشيكين علشان كانوا في عيد ميلاد.كل شوية عربية تعدي وتزمر او واحد يطلع راسه من العربية و يقول بصوت جهوري "ايه يا موززززة!!!".يعني موقف عادي بنشوفوا كل يوم.وقفت عربية قدامهم فيها ولد بذقن طويلة و جلبية و طقية وقال لوحدة فيهم: خدى يا اختي
و بيديها كتيبات عن الحجاب و هو مش بيبصلهم. البنت اتخطت و قالت له:ايه ده؟
قلها وهو برده مش بيبصلها:خدي بس يا اختي.البنت اخدتهم وهو مشي بالعربية
البنت قالت لصحابها:يعني لو هو مبصلناش عرف منين ان شكلنا محتاج الكتيبات ديه


الموقف الرابع
واحدة بنت عندها 20 سنة واقفة قدام المراية بتظبط الحجاب علشان هتخرج هي و تلاتة من اصحابها
واحدة صحبتها قالتلها:بصراحة شكلك من غير الحجاب كان احلي بكتير
البنت المحجبة تعجبت لان مفيش مناسبة للتعليق ده و قالتلها:بس ناس كتير قالتلي ان شكلي كدة احلي
صحبتها:لأ طبعا.ده انتي شعرك اللي كان مديكي منظر
البنت المحجبة بصتلها باستغراب اكتر و قالتلها:عامة انا مستريحة كدة
وقفلت الموضوع علشان ما تتفرسش اكتر من كدة


الموقف الخامس
"الفتاة الاولي"نزلت من بيتها علشان عندها درس. ما فيش حد يوصلها فللأسف هتاخد مواصلات.المهم لبست بنطلون واسع و بلوفر بكم علشان مش طلباها تسمعلها كلمتين ملهومش لازمة
نزلت و برضه مفيش فايدة كل ما يعدي واحد علي عجلة ولا سواق عربية نقل لازم يقولها "ايه يا عسسسسل".فضلت ماشية في حالها فجأة عربية قربت منها فيها واحدة محجبة وقالتلها:السلام عليكم
الفتاة الاولي:وعليكم السلام
الفتاة الثانية:انا شايفاكي من اول الشارع.بالله عليكي ابقي البسي حاجة تانية غير ديه علشان ما تسمعيش كلمة ملهاش لازمة من أي حد.انت اجمل من كدة
الفتاة الاولي أتفجئت واحمرت و تمتمت شكرا
مشيت الفتاة الثانية بعربيتها وعلي وجهها ابتسامة عريضة لانها راضية عن نفسها لانها عملت حاجة كويسة في يومها.اما الفتاة الاولي فوقفت متلخبطة ومكسوفة و عمالة تبوص علي لبسها مش عارفة تروح تغير هدومها ولا تعمل ايه


الموقف السادس
تلات بنات قاعدين واحدة منهم بصيت حواليها وبعدين قالت لصحابها:انا مش عارفة البنات لابسين كدة ازاي؟! وماشيين بشعرهم ولبسهم ده! بجد حاجة تستفز أي حد.
الفتاة الثانية:عادي يعني.
الفتاة الاولي:عادي ازاي ده انا كل ما افتكر نفسي قبل ما اتحجب استغرب انا ازاي كنت باخرج من غير حجاب و استغرب البنات التانية.
الفتاة التالتة:ربنا يهدي.
الفتاة الاولي بصت حواليها مرة كمان باشمئزاز و كملت اكل.


الموقف السابع
البنت الاولي:انا من ساعة ما اتحجبت وانا مش لائية نفسي مع اصحابي.
البنت الثانية:اه صحيح.انا مبقيتش اشوفك واقفة معاهم خالص.ليه كدة؟
البنت الاولي:اولا انا حاسة انهم اتغيروا من نحيتي.ده غير ان انا مبقيتش بحب خروجاتهم ولا لاناس اللي بيعدوا معاهم و بعدين بقيت كل ما افتح معاهم موضوع الحجاب يمطوا شفايفهم و يبوصوا لبعض و يغيروا الموضوع
البنت الثانية:خلاص بقي ماتضيقيش نفسك


الموقف الثامن
البنت الاولي(بتتكلم في التيليفون) :خلاص طيب.يلا باي باي
كالعادة مش هتخرج معانا
البنت الثانية:علي فكرة "هي"بقت متغيرة معانا اوى من ساعت ما اتحجبت.ما بقيتش بتخرج معانا زي الاول
البنت التالتة:اه ده صحيح.ده غير هن كل تعد معانا مفيش موضوع تتكلم فيه غير الحجاب
البنت الاولي:خلاص بقي هي حرة هنعملها ايه

الموقف التاسع
سيدة شابة وقفت تشترى لحمة.هي حاسة ان اللحمة شكلها غريب بس الراجل اللي بيبعها مصمم انها حاجة بريمو.فجأة لقت واحدة منقبة عمالة تغمزلها و تلف حواليها و تقولها اوعي تخديها.فقالت للراجل شكرا و بعدت شوية.قربت المنقبة و قالتلها:اوعي تشتري من اللحمة ديه.اصل انا جربتها قبل كدة .انتي شكلك متزوجة جديد صح؟
السيدة الثانية:اه فعلا.كويس انك قولتيلي.ده انا برضه لسة جايبة نوع لحمة وحش اوي و لو كنت عملت كدة تاني كان جوزي قتلني
وقفوا يتكلموا يضحكوا و اخدوا نمر تيليفونات بعض .بس الكانت مستغربة اوي هي ماتعودتش من المنقبات غير النظرات الغريبة لدرجة انها بقت مش بتحبهم كدة و خلاص.اول مرة تقابل واحدة منقبة تحس انها بجد ممكن تبقي صحبتها

الموقف العاشر
اربع بنات واقفين قدام مطعم معروف مستنين ترابيزة تفضي.شكلهم حلو هوي و لابسين اخر موضة.واحدة منهم فجأة قالت:ايه ده؟! بصوا شلة الغربان اللي جاية علينا!تقصد خمس بنات منقبات.اصحابها وقعوا من الضحك.واحدة صحبتها ردت عليها و قالتلها:يخربيتيك عليكي تعليقات و كملت ضحك

واحدة من البنات المنقبات شافت اللي لابسين لبس ضيق وبيضحكوا بصوت عالي في وسط الشارع.بصيتلهم باشمئزاز و قالت لاصحابها:يعني ايه المنظر ده؟! اصحابها بصوا وقالولها ان عندها حق



من الممكن جدا ان أي حد بيقرا المواقف ديه يشوف نفسه فيها ويلاقي نفسه في شخصية من الشخصيات ديه.من الممكن يكون عاش مواقف شبيهة بها او سمع عن حاجة زي كدة
انا مش بتبني أي من وجهات النظر اللي موجودة في المواقف ديه.وهدفي الاساسي من سرد المواقف ديه مش اني اقول وجهة نظري اصلا بس انا عايزة اسئل سؤال،هو احنا بقينا كدة ليه؟
مفيش حد فينا مستحمل التاني ولا بيحترم حرية الاخر و اختياراته.كلنا بنقيس اخلاق الناس التانية بمعاييرنا احنا،مع ان لكل شخص معايير مختلفة
كلنا بنفسن من بعض..ومفيش حد فينا بيسهل الحياة علي التاني بالطريقة ديه.
هل ده بسبب ان احنا اتعودنا نتكلم علي الناس و نتريء عليهم؟
هل لاننا فاضيين وديه حاجة بتسلينا؟
ولا السبب ان كل حد فينا متخيل ان التاني سبب تعاسته؟وهي شماعة بنعلق عليها مشاكلنا. هل هو ده السبب؟!يعني الحل ان كلنا نبقي زي بعض،للدرجة ديه مش قادرين نستحمل اختلافتنا
انا مش بقول ان كل الناس كدة انا بس بقول ان فيه النماذج ديه في المجتمع.والموضوع بيزيد والحساسية اللي ما بينا بتزيد.احنا مش قادرين نتقبل بعض وكل جماعة بتنغلق علي نفسها
الفكرة ان الموضوع ده لو زاد هيؤدي الي عنصرية.وعلشان ده مايحصلش ياريت كل واحد يخلي باله من تصرفاته و يحط نفسه مكان الاخر
وياريت نحاول نتقبل بعض باختلافاتنا و نحترمها.لان كل واحد اختار طريق وهو بس اللي هيتحمل عواقب اختياره.مش انت بس اللي صح والباقي غلط.ومش انا بس اللي صح والباقي غلط
ومش احنا اللي هنحاسب الناس،احنا بكدة بنحط نفسنا في مكانة اعلي بكتير من مكانتنا و اعلي بكتير من مقدرتنا
المهم انا برضه لسة ماوصلتش لاجابة لسؤالي الأساسي،احنا ليه بقينا كدة؟فكروا مع نفسكوا يمكن تبقوا اذكي مني و توصلولها

ماتحكمش علي الناس بالمظاهر..لا ولاهي

انا واحدة من الناس اللي اتربوا من صغرهم علي انهم مايحكوموش علي الناس بالمظاهر.و اننا مش المفروض ابدا اتعامل مع الناس او حتي انظرلهم بطريقة مختلفة بناء علي عدد العربيات اللي عندهم او رصيدهم في البنك مثلا
يعني انا كنت في المدرسة معايا اللي بيجي بعربية متفيمة و هيئة سياسية و معايا اللي بيجي في الباص زيه زي بقية الناس. و معايا اللي ابوه معرفش مين واللي خالها صاحب ايه بس ماكنش الموضوع بيفرق معايا ولا حسيت انه اصلا بيفرق مع حد لغاية ما احتكيت بالحياة الواقعية
لقيت ان معايير الحكم علي الناس في مجتمعنا مش زي ما انا فاهمة خالص.الموضوع مش بمبادئ واخلاق البني ادم والكلام ده. الموضوع ب "هو معاه عربية ايه؟" و "وهو اسم باباه ايه؟"."طيب هم بيأجروا في مارينا ولا عندهم حاجة هناك؟" واسئلة زي ديه يعني.
و الموضوع ده بقي بيبان اوي اوي في الجواز او النسب. يعني يسعده يهناه اللي اتولد في عيلة تقدر تجيبلوا عربية مفيش منها غير تلاتة في البلد وابوه اسمه بيطلع في الجرنان كل يومين(حتي لو بسبب عدم تسديده لقروض البنوك)،ياسلام يبقي عريس لقطة.
حتي الولاد بقوا بيفكروا كدة.مفيش بقي اللي عايز زوجة وفية وتخلي بالها من الولاد و الكلام ده، ديه حاجات ثانوية.تيجي بعد ان يكون باباها رجل اعمال مشهور و هيظبطوا في بداية حياته العملية. ده غير ان كل الناس هتحسدوا انوا وصل لوحدة زي ديه بغض النظر عن هي شخصيا مين و لا بتعمل ايه في حياتها
كل الحاجات ديه خلتني اتسأل يعني انا لو كان بدل ما عندي اب مهندس اكتشف_علي رأي عادل امام في فيلم عمارة يعقوبيان_ان البلد ديه مش محتاجة مهندسين، عندي اب رجل اعمال مشهور جدا مش عارفة طبيعة عمله بالظبط (ومش هاقول عليه حرامي)لكن غناه الفاحش اللي كان في خلال عشر سنين بس حواليه شكوك و علامات استفهام.و بدل ما عندي ام اخدت قرار ان هي تقضي بقيت حياتها في خدمة اولادها وجوزها،عندي ام سيدة مجتمع معروفة(مش هقول عليها مش كويسة ولا حاجة)بس علشان تثبت انها هاي كلاس لبسها و تصرفاتها معظم الناس بتستغربها
المشكلة الاكبر ان مبقاش فئة واحدة بس من المجتمع (اللي هم المفروض من وجهة نظري السطحيين)هم اللي بيحكموا علي الناس بالمعايير ديه.ده معظم فئات المجتمع بقت كدة.حتي اللي منهم انا شخصيا باحترمهم جدا و باحترم عقليتهم.
انا شخصيا لو هتسألوني انا راضية عن نفسي .يعني بحكم الطريقة اللي اتربيت بيها.لكن بصراحة مخبيش عليكوا انا في الظروف ديه و الحاجات اللي بشوفها حواليا في مجتمعنا بقيت بتسأل 100مرة في اليوم هو انا صح ولا غلط؟!معرفش احكموا انتوا

Fake “ a copy of a bad original”

These days it seems like everywhere I go I run into Paris Hilton wannabes and the likes of Jessica Simpson. I know that it is not a trend and that it is only normal in every community and in every decade to find divas. The worst kind of women, a mixture of an air head and something else (I am trying really hard not to use bad language in this article).
But what’s new is this phenomenon has manifested in our society and found its way in almost all age categories not just teenagers.
You can find teenage girls who believe they are on the same trail as Lindsey Lohan and the Ashley twins (as if this is a good thing). Young women early and mid twenties who I could swear that they think they live in “friends” or a character in the hit series “Sex in the city”. They think that they are attractive strong executives who live in NY.

Come on! Like it or not you live in Egypt. Speaking the Language or dressing in mini skirts and fancy dresses would never change that fact. You are an Egyptian. Your father is Egyptian and your mother is too. Dressing in designer jeans would not change it. Why hide it under the huge Gucci bag the Police shades and the OMG and talking slang.

News Flash that does Not make you less Egyptian hun it just makes you Fake!

I am not accusing all girls that they are like that but we do have the tendency. We should try to learn to take pride in being Egyptian, in our traditions and way of life. Trust me importing another way of life doesn’t make it better, it only complicates it.

It’s like importing a really cool car just to find out that all its spare parts don’t exist locally. It gets you in a mess. An identity crisis and a feeling that you don’t fit in. Sooner or later you will have to leave your protective community and go out into the world. Then you’ll discover Egypt and how different it really is from American Sitcoms.

I love Burgers, soda, American sitcoms, designer jeans and of course Police shades. But I eat this wear this watch this while being very careful that I don’t forget “el foul w “el galabya” w “moslsal layaly el 7elmya”.

Being Fake is not Hot man..is not Cool..its just fake..feel me bro?!

Aywa! shoft be3enya

Around a month ago I went to see the movie “7en maysra” with a couple of friends. In my opinion it is a very good movie that portrays a harsh truth about this country that we all tend to deny.
After we left the movies a friend of mine asked “Ho fe kda?!”
I assured her that the kinds of stories the movie is trying to tell do exist. Then she asked another question” Yasllam! Y3ny enty shofty be3eneky?!”

I knew for certain that these people and these living conditions exist in Egypt but to answer my friend with all honesty I had to say No! I was quite ashamed of myself actually. I mean I ask the people I know to be more aware of the problem of “el 3ashw2yat” while I have never been to one! To tell you the truth I felt like such a phony.

That’s why as soon as I got the chance to go to one of “el masaken el 3ashw2ya” in Cairo I took it eagerly. A friend of mine was going to “Manshyet Naser”_mante2a 3ashw2ya_for a project she had to do. So I tagged along.
Of course people scared us because we are girls and going to a dangerous area. Well I don’t consider my self exactly “farfora” but I have never been to such places before and I say it shamefully. People portrayed the citizens of Manshyet Naser as if they are “el Maghoul” or something. Scary human like creatures who will eat us alive once they see us. Eventually I became somewhat scared. We dressed in the most conservative way we can, we even considered wearing “3abayat” but we didn’t. For protection we took a couple of guys with us who I could tell wouldn’t even be able to protect themselves.

To my surprise it was actually a good day. At first we had a small encounter with a couple of guys who were very aggravated by the fact that we were taking pictures. But after talking some sense into them with decency they actually accompanied us, showing us around playing the role of the tour guide.




The people were very very kind as well as very very very poor. Smiling faces every where, people greeting you _although they don’t even know us_ and offering us tea as “el wageb”.

They started telling us about their problems. I don’t know where to begin; the living conditions are horrible. People are practically living in Cans and the best place is a falling down cottage. No hygiene whatsoever, the kids look filthy but you can tell that their mothers did everything they could to keep them clean. It is as if you left Egypt and stepped into Somalia.


They told us that many Egyptian researches came and took photos, heard their complaint but nothing was done. They asked us whether or not we know when they were going to remove “yezelo” this area. They asked us a lot of questions but unfortunately we didn’t have any answers.
Some people were very offended that we were taking pictures and felt that we were being condescending_ although we treated them with respect _and they were very aggressive but no one hurt us. Not a bad word not even a look. We laughed with them, the guys smoked “shesha” on the house because they insisted. We played with the kids, took pictures with some people and I actually felt very safe.

Since that day I have been thinking about these kind helpless people. Thinking about ways to help and I don’t mean bringing them food or giving them some money, I am talking about real solutions. These people deserve better, so much better. Better life, better housing, better food, better health, better education, better governance.
And needless to tell you that now my problems seem meaningless when compared.

This is just one area of the infamous”3ashw2yat” imagine that there are about 13 million people in Cairo living in such areas!
Meanwhile we are turning a blind eye. But I have seen with my own eyes and with confidence after I went home I called my friend and said “Ayoa ana Shoft be3enya”!

To flirt or not to flirt?! The question of the modern man

When Shakespeare wrote his infamous play “Hamlet” years ago he asked the question which _in my opinion at least_ portrays the struggle and the dilemma of men and women alike in the beginning of their lives.

To be or not to be?! To be the person you aspire to be, to take a stance for what you believe in, and to stand for what you see is right or go with the flow. This decision which you make early in life determines the rest of it and who you will be. For after that it will be too late to change who you already chosen to be in your early life when you first encounter a grave situation. So this question keeps troubling the young man or woman till a decision is taken, wise or not.

That was back then. Nowadays I can’t deny that I find young men troubled already but with a whole different question! To flirt or not to flirt! What keeps them occupied after working/studying hours or even during them is whether or not to make a move on this lovely lady. Or maybe a new colleague, an extended relative, his girlfriend’s friend or maybe even a cousin or a neighbor, nothing is sacred anymore I tell ya.

This has been bothering them troubling them creating the dilemma they live in, the one that replaced Shakespeare’s proposed dilemma. Chasing after 5 or maybe even 10 chicks at the same time has become a hobby dear to the hearts of many guys I know. Just like golf for older men. It is not a quest to find the “one” anymore, it’s the pleasure of the chase, almost like shooting ducks or catching Gazelles. The joy of taking control of something wild or even resentful of you and making it under your mercy.

Some men go fishing and then let the fish go afterwards or even throw it away because they do not want to eat it, they may not even be hungry but the fact that they outsmart this creature and were able to decide its destiny makes them high.

Well I don’t have a problem with that, go chase women like ducks for all I care. But the one thing you must be aware of is that the price you pay for wasting your time fooling around could be your own happiness.
In your endless chase around girls you absolutely know not good for you you’ll loose the good thing. The person who is best for you, who will really make you happy and take care of you who maybe under your nose but you are too focused on the next mini skirt to notice.
I remember an Egyptian series years ago called “matlob 3arosa” or I want a bride. I used to watch it when I was younger. It’s a comedy about two guys who wanted to get married and they keep chasing around women while the women best for them are right under their nose, the audience see it as well as everyone in the series except for them. And when they realize this it would have been too late.
Flirt as you like but don’t make it a habit or a hobby and certainly not “The” issue. And keep your eyes of her “legs” and on her heart.
Don’t get too distracted! Focus on finding the person who’d make you happy. And remember the joy of the chase is temporary while catching the fish that you could live on for the rest of you life is the ULTIMATE satisfaction.